Punishments do not work…

Alan Kazdin from the Yale Parenting Center emphasizes that reasoning with a child (or giving advice to an adult) can help them think and problem solve but not be helpful in changing their behavior.

3 things to change behavior:

  1. Focus on what comes before the behavior… Gentle instruction and presenting choices increase the likelihood of compliance. “And choice isn’t important, it’s the appearance of choice that’s important.”
  2. Craft the behavior e.g. with play. What would get you repeated practice trials?
  3. Positively reinforce the behavior every time you see the desired change until it becomes a habit

No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems: Excellent Article from The Atlantic 3/16 by Ms. Khazan

 

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