Alan Kazdin from the Yale Parenting Center emphasizes that reasoning with a child (or giving advice to an adult) can help them think and problem solve but not be helpful in changing their behavior.
3 things to change behavior:
- Focus on what comes before the behavior… Gentle instruction and presenting choices increase the likelihood of compliance. “And choice isn’t important, it’s the appearance of choice that’s important.”
- Craft the behavior e.g. with play. What would get you repeated practice trials?
- Positively reinforce the behavior every time you see the desired change until it becomes a habit