Assessing our friendships..

 

People make and keep friends in 3 different ways: “Some are independent, they make friends wherever they go, and may have more friendly acquaintances than deep friendships. Others are discerning, meaning they have a few best friends they stay close with over the years, but the deep investment means that the loss of one of those friends would be devastating. The most flexible are the acquisitive —people who stay in touch with old friends, but continue to make new ones as they move through the world.”

Whether people hold onto their old friends or grow apart seems to come down to dedication and communication.

Friendships are active if you are in touch regularly, you could call on them for emotional support and it wouldn’t be weird, if you pretty much know what’s going on with their lives at this moment. A dormant friendship has history, maybe you haven’t talked in a while, but you still think of that person as a friend. You’d be happy to hear from them and if you were in their city, you’d definitely meet up. A commemorative friend is not someone you expect to hear from, or see, maybe ever again. But they were important to you at an earlier time in your life, and you think of them fondly for that reason, and still consider them a friend.

Ms. Beck ends this wonderful read with,’Friendship is a relationship with no strings attached except the ones you choose to tie, one that’s just about being there, as best as you can.’ Well said.

How Friendships change in Adulthood: Article from The Atlantic 10/15 by Ms. Beck

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